Our Funny American Language

I found this in an old book and thought you'd enjoy it!

One fowl is a GOOSE, but two are called GEESE,
Yet the plural of MOOSE should never be MEESE.
You may find a lone MOUSE or a whole nest of MICE,
Then why isn't the plural of HOUSE HICE?
If the singular is THIS, and the plural is THESE,
Should the plural of KISS ever be KEESE?
We speak of a BROTHER and also of BRETHERN,
But though we say MOTHER we never say METHERN.
The masculine pronouns are HE, HIS, and HIM,
But imagine a feminine SHE, SHIS, and SHIM.
So the American language, I think you will agree,
Is the funniest language we ever did see.
From The Lighter Vein

One more item:
22 is pronounced twenty-two, but
11 is not pronounced onety-one!